Friday, August 29, 2008

"Dyn-O-mite" How Not To Use Dynamite!


After mustering out of the Marine Corps the first thing I did was get a job in a pie factory. I baked pecan pies and strawberry shortcakes—millions of them, I saved my money bought a Jeep and then 10 acres of woods. I wanted to build a small house in the very middle of the land, deep in the woods. After inquiring about the cost of excavating work I knew I couldn’ t afford the heavy equipment it would take to put a drive into my woods. Many people discover this cost and decide to build closer to the property line—but not an ex-Marine. They don’t call us "jarheads" for nothing.
I knew I would find a solution so I went ahead and cut trees down at chest height all the way to my building site. Not long after that I met a guy at work who had been a powderboy in the coal mines of West Virginia. The light bulb went on inside my head and I started quizzing him on how explosives worked. He assured me that they were not all that dangerous if you were careful and knew what you were doing. I should have stopped right then, knowing I didn’t qualify in either category. I’m almost sure he said, "That dynamite can’t go off unless you light that fuse!"
It sounded like a plan to me. I could blow those darned trees off my land. I went to the local hardware and found out that first I had to get a permit from the State Police. After fingerprinting me and asking me a few basic questions I was a certified dynamite technician. I went back to the hardware and said, "I need some dynamite!"
The clerk looked at me a little suspiciously and said, "You want wire or cap and fuse?"
I said, not so confidently, "What would you use?"
He yelled to the back of the store, "Charlie, we got a dynamite buyer who doesn’t know the difference between wire and fuse."
Charlie came out and looked me over. I thought for sure he was going to refuse to sell me dynamite but instead he said, "Ya want 40 percent or 80 percent?" I was feeling lucky—I said 80.
He said, "I have forty in the basement but I keep the eighty in a bunker outside of town." I decided forty would do just fine. I bought a whole case, a hundred feet of black powder fuse and twice as many caps as dynamite sticks.
I threw it all in the back of my Jeep and headed for the woods. I wasn’t quite sure how many sticks it would take to blow each tree. I had to experiment. My only reference was how many sticks the bad guys used to blow up railroad bridges before the Lone Ranger caught up with them. I decided to start with three sticks. I taped them all together, used an ice pick to create a nesting hole for the aluminum cap and then attached about ten feet of fuse to the cap. Again, I was going by what the Lone Ranger would use. I remember he would shoot the black powder with one of his silver bullets and it would burn quickly all the way to the explosives. So I lit that fuse and ran like the wind until I was behind my Jeep. I waited with anticipation, knowing there was going to be an explosion any second. I waited, and waited, and waited. NOTHING!
I thought, "Must have been a dud."
I just couldn’t figure it out, but I wasn’t about to go look. After several minutes I decided I would leave.If it didn’t blow by morning I would go check it out. About halfway out of the property I heard an explosionand a tree went off like a failed Air Force missile heading down range. I decided maybe I should try lessdynamite and a shorter fuse. Actually, I lit a piece of fuse and discovered it was slow burning. Nothingas exciting as the Lone Ranger used. .
Eventually, I whittled that TNT down to quarter sticks and it would blast those tree stumps right out of the ground. Mistakenly confident that dynamite could not explode unless lit, I would make up a stick with cap and fuse and just toss it aside while I used an ice spud to make a hole beneath the stump I intended to blast next. It wasn’t until I had used the whole case of dynamite and removed every stump on my right-of-way that I discovered otherwise. I ended up with three aluminum caps left over. I tossed them on my work bench and one of them exploded. I learned—a little late—that the caps contained nitro and any of my careless tosses could have set the charge off. When I told the hardware guys, they wouldn’t sell me stuff that might hurt me anymore—even plumbing supplies they said!
—Keep Smilin’, Dick E. Bird

3 comments:

Mrs Sharon Sim said...

My name is Mrs Sharon Sim. I live in Singapore and i am a happy woman today? and i told my self that any lender that rescue my family from our poor situation, i will refer any person that is looking for loan to him, he gave me happiness to me and my family, i was in need of a loan of S$250,000.00 to start my life all over as i am a single mother with 3 kids I met this honest and GOD fearing man loan lender that help me with a loan of S$250,000.00 SG. Dollar, he is a GOD fearing man, if you are in need of loan and you will pay back the loan please contact him tell him that is Mrs Sharon, that refer you to him. contact Dr Purva Pius,via email:(urgentloan22@gmail.com)

Dr Purva Pius said...

Are you in need of a loan? Do you want to pay off your bills? Do you want to be financially stable? All you have to do is to contact us for more information on how to get started and get the loan you desire. This offer is open to all that will be able to repay back in due time. Note-that repayment time frame is negotiable and at interest rate of 3% just email us (urgentloan22@gmail.com)

Mrs Sharon Sim said...

My name is.Mrs.Anna Daniel. I live in Ukraine i am a happy woman today? i need to use this time to tell all people how i got my loan from this honest and God fearing man loan lender that help me with a loan of $84,000 please contact him. he name is Dr Purva Pius email (urgentloan22@gmail.com) tell him that is Mrs.Anna Daniel that refer you to he